What i realized i want for chrismas

a boy/girlfriend.

I shouldn't be home alone right now, i should be snuggled up with my(to keep it simple i will use boy) boyfriend. But i dont have one.

The only advantage i have right now, being alone, is i can feel super feminine! even without cute shoes! because i dont have any! oh well! i still feel great!

but i bet you if i had this boyfriend i keep thinking of, he would make me feel even better! i probably wouldn't even have to dress up as much then!

something i have realized as well! Boobs make the woman! at least if you look like me! I dont have boobs, but even with a stuffed bra i feel great. at least compared without stuffing! of course it's making me question how large of breasts it's going to take to truely make me happy. well, i know this i would settle for a B cup right now.

but that's just my dreams i guess. and for now, it's going to have to stay there.

My Attention was Grabbed

somebody sent me a comment here telling me... ok, suggesting to me, that i be sure to spend that "special ;)" time with women as well as men. and the reason that comment peaked my interest was, i've been told before, and during my realizations about myself, i realized that there are aspects about men i love and aspects about women i love. Honestly, i wish i could have both easily, but alas, i'm not that good of a people person.

before i would fantasize men so often, i would always always always fantasize about women, but lets just say they were always the man in the relationship. (to put it bluntly) when i fantasize in the more sexual way, in all of my fantasies, i dont do any penetrating. and every time i try to fantasize that way, it just doesn't work. make sense?

that alone, now that i think about it, make me wonder (as a guy) does that make me gay? or does the fact that women can be and are often involved in these fantasies, just make me bi?
I dont know...

Sorry for my bluntness there, i just couldn't think of a way to beat around the bush with that one.

anyway, i hope you all are ready for the holiday here in just a day or so.
I know i'm going to enjoy it! My dad is going over to my grandma's and giving the house to me! i can guarantee that i'm going to dress up all pretty for a christmas gift to myself! Now, if only i had a good pair of heels! lol.

Happy Holidays, everyone!