Sunday, January 18, 2009

I'm alive

Hello my dear readers

I know that my last post left some of you extremely worried about me. Trust me on that, I have the emails to prove it. *giggles* I want you all to know, I was never considering suicide. I was in a position that made me want to die, not kill myself. If death had come to me, I wouldn't have fought back though, ya know?

My father's decision to disown me when I stop being his son, is his decision and not mine. But that doesn't reduce the shock I got from it. I know somebody who was disowned by his father. He was basically blindsided by it. (is that the right word...) But for me, I know exactly when my father is going to disown me. He can live with me being his son and so long as I am his son, I am still part of the family(from his perspective). But the second, and I mean the second, I stop being a "son" to him. That's it! I am out of the family. I am no longer a *****(last name censored for my protection...sorry)****. And I will go with the 2nd middle name I had picked out for my last name. So my name in the future(i hope) will be, Danielle Hope Calypso. I know I could go with my Mom's last name, or even her maiden name, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't think she would like that. I'll have to ask her 'bout that.

Anyway, there isn't much news now... just that i really hope to one day(very soon, like before my b-day soon) move out. I have realized that I can't live with my father anymore. Period.

Oh yeah, School started up again. So for my future posts, expect a lot about the stresses of school...if I even post a lot about it...

That's about it for now...

1 comment:

alan said...

I was afraid of that and also afraid that you just needed someone to talk to...sorry about the e-mails!


Your chosen name is beautiful!

Hopefully somehow school will be easier this still have a lot going on but a lot is resolved as well!