The buzz

Wow, this blog is gathering a small following... it's strange for me. Usually, the things I do online or IRL go, unnoticed. It's one of the reasons I became so insecure about everything I do. But, now, there are real life people telling me such kind things. At first I thought, Oh, these people are just blowing smoke up my bum. But as I read some of the comments and read into life just a bit more, I've come to realize that not everyone in this horrible, hate-filled world are out to get me. How surprising is that?

Anyway.

At first I didn't have much of a point to this blog entry, but as I started writing it I thought of a few things, more self-reflections then anything.

I started thinking about some *cough* not all, of the blogs I follow. Thinking about how far along some of these beautiful women are in their transition. And thinking of the extremely difficult task of getting even remotely close to where they are. I don't know how these girls are doing it. Government Grant? Insurance? Long time saving up money? What? And with that, I wonder, How am I going to do this? How am I going to get the money to go 70 some odd miles away to see a specialist who focuses in Transgendered people? How am I going to get the money to afford any of the things needed for my Transition? New Wardrobe, Hormones, any surgeries, repairs from haters. There isn't a Transgendered community where I live. At least nothing publicly known. So I can't even get the basic knowledge from people who have gone or are going to go through the same exact thing I will be going through... someday.

With that thought, I will finish this up... I may post again later today, I may not. *shrugs* Who knows?